Swimming Through the Eyes of Vulnerability
To be seen. At one time, this is what I ironically feared most. And yet I
craved vulnerability and connection….like a sailor sailing through the cold, dark lonely seas — staring off into the distance — longing for land and all it’s serene comforts and stability — drifting further and further from the truth.
Instead, being swallowed up by foggy thoughts and stormy emotions. Surging up whenever they choose. Wiping out anything in its path like a tidal wave demolishing a thriving, bustling shoreline. Pushing and suppressing any attempts of support and love. I’ve ridden this self induced tsunami, containing her wild and ruthless nature for decades now. Teaching me countless lessons that have rippled outwardly leaving behind in their wake a calmer state of being.
What I have to show for it now is an internal world that has been battered and beaten like a rocky ship navigating its way through war entrenched waters. What I have to show for it now is mental, emotional, and physical resiliency from riding such turbulent waters of fear. Choosing to always keep searching for the light like a seaman on watch at night. Using it as a beacon — a guide, like a lighthouse beams for ships lost at sea, to draw them closer to shore. To the stability and security it breathes from its supple sand. Greeting me with open arms, embracing you in its truth.
The truth of belonging. And with it — a homecoming of a thousand ancestors welcoming me with their warmth, support, oneness, and love. Filling me with light and compassion. Reminding me of my worth, my purpose. Forever tapping me into a well — a source — a depth of wisdom — I never knew was attainable, until I became determined enough to forge through the trenches of my own emotional seas. Instilling in me a beacon of hope, like a confident sailor navigating on a dark night. Facing my rocky fears, my shaky insecurities — allowing my vulnerability to shine through like the starry night sky. Awakening me to the serene depths that lie beneath who I think I am. Anchoring the connection to my Self. Bringing with it the calm waters of a cloudless sky on an open sea.
By choosing to be seen and not cower from the waves of emotion, I am inviting the opportunity to become more aware of all the undercurrents and hidden troves I have yet to explore. I trust that my vulnerability will lead the way, using it as an inner Compass Rose to guide me, like a sailor on a nautical exploration with their trusty nautical map to assist them.
I choose to be seen so I can learn to flow with life’s currents and its stormy times. Making it easier to discern and choose between anchoring down to ride out the storm or to adjust the sails and stay ahead of the wind. To be seen is to be in touch with my inner compass.
What inner compass do you turn to, in order to help weather the different seasons and storms in life?
